Thursday, December 20, 2007

Knock 'Em Dead

Yesterday, I popped along briefly to The Magic Cave in Covent Garden, a magic stall owned and run by my fellow homosexualist magician, Lee Hathaway, and his business partner, Neil Henry. Lee told me a story that I just had to share.

Often in magic catalogues, an effect will be described as "This will fry them", or "This will floor them". Actually, one particular magic shop in London has a web site which claims many of their tricks will "flaw" the audience ("This will flaw them"). I suspect that's due to the odd way people in England can't pronounce the letter "r" correctly (unlike Scottish folks such as myself), and so they have confused "floor" with "flaw".

Another claim that is sometimes made is "This will kill them!". Or "This will knock 'em dead". Or some similar turn of phrase. Obviously, we don't mean that to be taken literally.

But here's the twist. Neil was performing last week for a bishop (or an arch-bishop, which is a bishop with a bow and arrow). He was doing an effect where the spectator holds a pack of cards, and while it is in their hands, it turns into a solid block of perspex. The moment when the magician asks the spectator to check in their hands, and they discover that the transformation has taken place is usually something of a highlight. It gets a good reaction. It kills them! On this occasion, alas, it did. The bishop looked, gasped, clutched at his heart, and had a stroke.

Well, okay, I don't know for sure whether the poor man actually did survive. I suspect he probably did, but what an awfully embarrassing situation to find oneself in as a performer - accidentally shocking the audience to death or close to it, rather than merely entertaining them.

I suspect Neil might not get a repeat booking at that particular establishment. Not through any fault of his own, but because from now on they'll probably stick to nothing racier than Daniel O'Donnell tribute bands.


Da Nator said...

Really, he's supposed to be a man of God. If he can't take one little miracle, it's his own fault, really.

Great story. ;o)

Nick said...

Perhaps you should go and do the 'water in to wine' trick and see if he proclaims that you are the Second Coming ;-)

Tickersoid said...

A bishop once flashed his erect penis at me in a cinema.

I had a stroke.

JP said...

Ha! Wonderful.

CyberPete said...

Ha ha ha

Much belated merry christmas Qenny

and a happy new year aswell

Al said...

Firstly, happy new year to all.

Secondly, as well as saying 'flaw' instead of 'floor', why do many english people say 'draw' instead of 'drawer'?

Tickersoid said...

or Febry instead of February.
Secatery instead of Secretary.
Skelington instead of Skeleton.