Wednesday, January 31, 2007

This boy will go far!

Hot on the heels of my previous blog about dodgy emails from recruitment agencies, yesterday I received one that probably trumps the "Dear {first_name}" example.

This arrived (I've changed a few details to protect the guilty):

Dear Kenny,

Most of you will have had the pleasure in being in contact with me at some point for a HR role, but for those that have not, I head up the team for East London – Contracts at HR S**** S*****.

I would love to hear from you if you are looking for work now or even in the future.

Please email me with the best telephone number to contact you and email your most up to date CV urgently.

The majority of Clients in the London and South East of England will be in contact with me at some point, so if you have a particular company you want to work for; please tell me ASAP.

Please contact me on 0207-xxx-xxxx

With regards

Michael K______wski
Trainee Recruitment Consultant
HR S**** S***** London
Phone 01628 xxx xxx
Email m.k______wski@hrs****s****

Don't you just love it? He goes straight from addressing me personally to making it very obvious that it is a generic email sent to lots of people. Either that, or he is aware of some multiple personality disorder from which I suffer, and of which I am unaware. (At least, the personality typing this blog entry is unaware of it. Perhaps one of my other personalities is aware of it. IDV may be able to advise on this.)

He then tells me what an honour it is to be in contact with him. I should point out that I have no interest in working in HR, nor any experience in that realm. He heads up the team for East London? Not for long, I suspect.

And despite his poor grammar, bad wording, and inappropriate choice of recipient, almost every business in the south east is beating a path to his door. Apparently.
(It might be a bit harsh of me to pull him up on his language. I suspect he came to English later in life.)

I'm a tad suspicious that the contact number he gives in the email differs from the one he gives in his signature. The signature, however, does, reveal a telling piece of information. Young Michael might well head up the East London part of his company, but he makes no secret of the fact that he is a trainee.

I think they need to give him a lot more training before they let him near their email database again.

To cap it all, after sending this out yesterday afternoon, he then sent it again yesterday evening, word-for-word the same message, which probably does his cause a lot more harm than good.

Poor lad.


Jay said...

"Most of you will have had the pleasure in being in contact with me..."


Actually it sounds like it was written by the same generous chap who keeps offering me a share in the USD$25,078,954 that he's inherited but doesn't have the funds to obtain due to legal fees.

CyberPete said...

Wow Jay I must have been cheated then I was only offered £800,000 from some British lottery thing.

It does sound like the poor lad translated a foreign expression or phrase directly. Without reading it afterwards, how dreadful. The spam filter should have caught it, eh?

Tickersoid said...

I've had the same email but it finishes by asking if I have erectile disfunkshun.

Brian Sibley said...

OK! Sorry! I won't send any more!

Reluctant Nomad said...

Very similar to the Nigerian scams in wording and methodology even if not quite as sinister. I'm indulging in a bit of 'scam-baiting' at the moment with some 'ill' Middle Eastern man who is on death's doorstep in a hospital in the UK who wants to leave his money to charities via me rather than leave it to his family. Yes, I DO need a life!! :-)

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Well, my advice on the personalities issue is...

Oh bugger. I'm too late.