Sunday, January 07, 2007

Big Boys Toys 4 Sassy Lassies

Yesterday, I ended up spending a lot more in the supermarket than I had intended. I had gone in largely to stock up on detergents and the like. In hindsight, I should probably have gone to Aldi or Lidl given what I was buying. However, Sainbury's are getting rid of a lot of stock that they had bought in for Christmas, amongst them some quite good gadgets and such like. And a device that I have always admired, but never owned. And there it was, reduced by a whacking great £70 to a mere £150: a beautiful, upright DC07 Dyson vacuum cleaner. I had owned a DC02 in the past, before my 5-year sojourn on the other side of the world. However, I had given it up prior to the move, and missed it terribly when I got there.

Since returning in 2005, we have made do with a knock-off little Morphy Richards bagless model which is almost as pointless as those old carpet cleaners so beautifully mocked by Eddie Izzard (and I'm delighted to note that the Wikipedia entry had "Hod-d-d-d-d!" in there already).

As my Lovely Husband™ is quick to point out to new acquaintances when first they experience the marvel of my magic performances, I'm disappointingly not so magical when it comes to doing the hoovering. (Except, of course, we're going to have to stop calling it "hoovering" now, innit.) Or the washing up. That may change. I got the new toy out to give it a whirl and see how much better it was than the old machine, and didn't really stop until ever room in the house had been sucked to pristine perfection. For some reason, the exquisite design of the Dyson, coupled with it's gadget-head appeal, makes it a really good Big Boys Toy. Clearly, since normally I avoid going anywhere near that particular household chore. (Actually, that's true of most household chores. It's one of those aspects of my personality where I'm a bit more traditional male than I should be.)

So, I will offer this advice to any straight women who are tired of their menfolk not pulling their weight in the chore department (or indeed to other couplings where one of the two has a disinclination to clean coupled with a love of technogadgets): buy a Dyson!


Pig and Taz said...

Yay! I'm first!

And new here!

I can't believe I've just read a whole post, word-for-word about hoovers!

I think I'm ill.

Nick said...

I can't afford a new hoover right now, but if yours is so good, come round and give my carpets a going over. I have crap suction and nothing gets picked up, so I could use a quick whizz round with a Big Boys Toy.


Al said...

Mr Dyson is a genius at design, and if I had £150 to spare I might have popped up to sainsbury's at lunch, as my DC04 hose is, well hosed and rather than spend £20 on a new hose for an old sucker...

The only thing he's ever invented that I couldn't justify spending the dosh on was his spectacularly expensive washing machine. OK, so it could easily take a king-size duvet, but it was £1000. For a washing machine!

Da Nator said...

I'm jealous! Our floors are so crap, there's no point using a vaccuum on them (there goes my wish for a Scooba, too). We have to sweep, and then wash them with a power washer. Sigh.

Looks like a good toy, indeed. Have good, clean fun! (oy.)

BEAST said...

I love my dyson so much i got another one so I had an upstairs one(all carpet) and a downstairs one(all hard floors) , then Mr C and frobisher kidnapped one of them , so I had to get another one.They are the 'Harley Davidson' of vacuums , ideal for boy racers and Mid Life Crisees.
We have but one point of contention... Chez beasty we regard the 'upright' as being a bit ahem 'gay'.Its the manly cylinder with a turbo head for that all round testosterone fueled cleaning frenzy

Tickersoid said...

I thought every one knew that Dysons are totally unreliable.

Oh and cylinder models are better for I'm told.

frobisher said...

I'm not too keen. The owner of Dyson shut down the English factory to open one in Asia - producing them cheaper but at the same cost to the consumer! Greedy bastard.

By the way I love your eyebrows, are they your best feature?

MJ said...

Argh! Piggy and Tazzy discovered you. Your blog is now contaminated. Evacuate!

*waves hello to Beast, Tickers and Frobi*

CyberPete said...

Definately something to look into.

I do love big boys toys

world champ stephen neal said...

Professional magicians perform illusions. Tricks are what a whore does for money.

Brian Sibley said...

Gosh! You do have a way with words! "sucked to pristine perfection." Poetry!

Qenny said...

Pig and Taz: nice of you to drop by. And well done for choosing such a rivetting first blog entry to read.

Nick: that doesn't sound at all flirty and suggestive. No, really.

al: It could easily take a king-sized duvet? I've met some men who've bragged at being able to take more than one fist, but a king-sized duvet, now that really is accommodating.

da nator: it does have a setting for doing non-carpetted flooring. Just in case you want an excuse to get one.

beast: as a former owner of a cylinder model, I think the upright it more manly. It takes more brute strength to manhandle it around the place.

tickersoid: I'm touching wood. Which might mean I've vacuumed all the way through the carpet.

frobisher: According to Wikipedia, Dyson employs more people now in R&D than they did before they moved production to Malaysia. But of course, that could have been written by someone in the company as a PR effort.

mj: well, I just evacuated, like you suggested, and I must say I'm feeling much lighter on my loafers now.

cyberpete: given that you're such a fan of Kylie, I was kind of assuming that boys who have big toys would have an appeal for you.

world champ stephen neal: haven't seen you around for a while. Some pro magicians perform illusions. Others of us like to construct beautiful and alluring magical vignettes. If that fails, I suppose turning tricks is always an option.

brian: why thank you very much. Being much more aware of your own skills as a scribe, what with your authorised Peter Jackson biography grinning at me from almost every bookshop window, I am truly flattered.