Friday, May 19, 2006

8-Legged Freak!

Last night, my usual hotel - Dunstan Hall - was fully booked, and I was obliged to rest my weary old bones elsewhere.

I stayed at Park Farm: a modern hotel and conference centre built in and around a working farm. It's really rather lovely. It lacks the age and cosyness of Dunstan, but the food is amazing - even better than the fancy restaurant in Dunstan, and better priced. The room was big, spacious, excellent bathroom, seperate bath and shower, and a floor to ceiling sliding glass door leading to a balcony overlooking fields and countryside.

When I woke up this morning, however, the down side of a hotel based on farm land became all too apparent.

On the wall in one corner of the room was the biggest house spider I have ever seen. It was a monster. I gave some thought to capturing it in a glass, but after looking at the glasses in the room, it was obvious that I couldn't do so without damaging the spider's legs. And I really didn't want to piss this thing off by doing something like that. I wish I'd had my camera. There's one on my phone, but there was no way I was going anywhere near that beast to get a decent shot. No sirree!

So, I went to breakfast, came back (it had moved only a little in by absence), gingerly packed my case, and left, not without a little apprehension as I turned my back on the 8-legged behemoth.

After a little research, it seems my guest was probably Tegenaria Gigantea.

25 comments:

jungle jane said...

i have a spider living in my dunny that is big enough to be paying rent. it makes ablutions a very swift event. nobody likes crapping with a spider bigger than the cat sat above your face.

or mebbe it's just me?

Qenny said...

I'm guessing you're down under. Is this toilet monster, therefore, a hunstman?

jungle jane said...

qenny yes - he's a bastard huntsman. he has soulful sad eyes. i recite poetry to him - usually the lyrics to a Guns 'n Roses tune. we have an understanding. he eats mosquitos and i sing to him. i still feel uncomfortable though. perhaps i need some therapy?

jungle jane said...

actually...it never occurred to me - maybe he's actually a she?

Pixie Sprinkle said...

mummy is telling fibs, qenny. she actually sings Abba tunes to the spider. Waterloo. it's awful, her voice. child abuse...

Qenny said...

jane: If it is a she, does that make it a huntswoman?
They're really docile, though, aren't they? And they eat mozzies - good on them. Admittedly, I'd still feel apprehensive, too. I mean, it's all very well for everyone to tell you that they're really docile, but unless you can sit the spider down, buy it a beer, and hear those words from the horses ... well, spiders ... mouth, you never know who to believe.

pixie: I don't know who to believe now. If it were that bad, surely the hunstman would have attacked?

Reluctant Nomad said...

That's a horrid-looking beastie, especially the way it has 'eyes' on the top part of its thorax or whatever that bit is called. However, having grown up in Africa, spiders don't bother me at all unless I walk through their webs. *SHUDDER*

Incidentally, should you find out what MS Journal is used for, let me know.

Qenny said...

nomad: I'm usually not troubled by spiders, but that was a big 'un. My Lovely Husband™, bless his cotton socks, has something of a phobia. It's mostly based on his fear of being bitten by a white tail, a nasty little Ozzie arachnid that has taken up residence in NZ. I've been bitten by one, and it wasn't too bad. Not nice, but not too bad. I didn't get necrosis, thankfully.

Jay said...

Nothng personal, but seriously, we should kill all bugs. Forget the brave rescues, the noble conservation efforts - we have to kill them all.

I've watched Starship Troopers and Arachnophobia so I know what I'm talking about.

Qenny said...

Yeah, but some of them look like they're all too capable of putting up too good a fight!

Da Nator said...

B-b-but, Jay! That could've been Charlotte!

Good on you, qenny, for not killing the spider. It wasn't bothering you, so why bother?

Gentleman-hobbs said...

Thy whit is canny good sir!

Qenny said...

da nator: It did bother me quite a bit to have it there, looking ready to pounce at any second, but I'm glad I didn't send it to meet its hairy maker. I would have felt bad for doing that.

gentleman-hobbs: Welcome!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

e
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Look out below!

E
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CRASH! tinkle...

Sorry...

Qenny said...

You alright, love? Engine failure?

Midget Arse said...

spiders in my house end up being sucked into the hoover pipe!!!

Qenny said...

That's dangerous, that is, because then they live in the hoover bag, and great armies of them attack you when you go to empty it.

Pixie Sprinkle said...

Oh great. Now i have a phobia of vaccuum cleaners.

Qenny said...

I live to serve!

Imogen said...

*shudders*

So did the spider come back home with you? Souvenirs, and all that.

I'm with Jay- with the possible exception of woodlice (they're quite cute, really) everything with more than four legs should be wiped out; but by other people, cos I won't go near the things. And I don't own a vacuum cleaner, so I figure I'm safe on that front... They don't crawl back up sinks, do they?

Qenny said...

I was worried it might have sneaked into my suitcase, or that some of its friends and family might have done so, but so far, no sign. Thankfully.

I believe that are capable of crawling back up sinks.

I'm not sure if I agree with you that woodlice are cute, but they are interesting for being terrestrial crustaceans, and for having bright green blood.

Tickersoid said...

I love spiders, unfortunately I've made both my daughters arachnaphobic.

shiftclick said...

You are very very kind. A gentleman after my own heart.

Fuckkit said...

I wish I never clicked that bloody link. Are you trying to give me a bloody nervous breakdown?

Qenny said...

tickers: I'm sure there's a story in there. Did you mean to?

shifty: Why thank you. But I acted out a fear and a self-preservation instinct, so I'm not sure I deserve such praise.

fuckkit: Sorry, love. But you should really get used to seeing them. And remember, the hunstman might look big and scary, but they're really gentle and docile. Even if they can move fast enough to scare the bejeesus out of you.