Friday, April 07, 2006

Hidden Scab

Oh, the irritation! Oh, the ignominy! Oh, the temptation!

As we all know, scabs were made for picking like Nancy Sinatra's boots were made for walking. For some of us, the "made for picking" quality is something that scabs share with noses - even if we only ever do it discreetly (toilet cubicle) and hygenically (wash hands afterwards). In one's car doesn't usually count as discreet, hence the observation that the difference between noses and strawberries is that you don't see people picking strawberries at traffic lights.

There is a type of nose-picking that is socially acceptable in company; but the company in question has to be that of a qualified rhinoplast.

For the last few weeks, I have been suffering from dry bogie syndrome. There's been some dry thing up there that was really difficult to get out. It took days of teasing. When it finally did arrive, it had grown so attached to its nasal home that it decided to drag a bit of lining along with it. Now I'm having daily scab growth over the damaged lining, but it feels exactly the same as more dry bogie syndrome, and the temptation to tease it out is even stronger because it's not just a dry bogie, it's also a scab. This looks likely to go on and on until I have scratched the inside of my nose out of existence, and I end up looking either like a septum-free coke fiend, or a body dysmorphic plastic surgery junkie.

I'm going to be reluctant to tilt my head back this weekend during QT with the husband, so no Kath & Kim style snogging for us. Hubby is a bit funny about snot. He always flares his nostrils and gets me to check before we go out, to make sure that he doesn't have any bats in the cave. I don't think I'll be doing the same thing, not whilst I'm enduring the living hell that is scabbie bogieitus.


david said...


Who says a pessary ain't
gonna be useful for a man!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

The most satisfying pick will be when the said scab reaches that stage of 'scabness' when you can pick it off and there will be a new, pink layer of skin underneath. No blood. No scab.

However, judging the right moment can be difficult...

Pick in haste, repent at leisure!

Qenny said...

And even more difficult when the scab in question is on the inside of one's nose!